Archive for July 2015

That’s my band! Part 1

You know how when someone says something incongruous or just a little off bit kilter and you respond “That’s my band!”

You know you do!

I decided to begin jotting down the ones that I liked the best. Here is my current crop.

-Quantum Gravy

-Pain Meds and Power Tools

-Jazz Faculty

-No One Is Derick

-Venereal Tuna

-Felafel Waffle


-A Given Value of Mitchel


-Doll Challah

-Avocado Suicide

-Blood Chutney

-Meat Laundry


-Punch Hole Unit

-That Monkey Gimmick

-Technically Agressive

-Second Hand Butt Plug

-Batman Tantrum

If anyone wants to take any of these and run with them… I want a signed copy of the CD and to get to design your T-shirts.

Also this happened a while ago…

Glitter Beard 2

Captain Glitterbeard questions his life decisions

Glitter Beard 1


Enter The Shredder

No not this guy…

Some time ago I came across Nuclear Snail Studios on YouTube. I have always had a love of the post-apocalyptic, the scavenged, and the improvised and this guys approach to such things tickled me. I marathon watched all his videos then began eyeing my pants in ways that made the garment uncomfortable.

With the awesome new Mad Max movie still occupying a remarkable amount of my waking thoughts two months after having seen it I suspect my sewing machine and I are going to be doing cruel things to some of my more worn out clothes in the near future… Buckles… I need more buckles…

This video in particular caught my attention. I loved his shredder tool and immediately wanted one. The problem seemed to be that the particular type of modular hole saw he used was not favored in any hardware store I frequented and I could absolutely not be bothered to do much more research into sourcing one with a thousand other projects  looming and a major move across the country demanding my attention.

But guess what… I found one! Cheap!

Here then is my Shredder.

I carved the handle from a hardwood dowel and used the center drill from the hole saw as a tang. The head is still removable if I get some weird idea to actually mount it on a drill or something… Hmmm… But the tang is well and truly epoxied into the handle so I will need to make a new one.

He’s a brutal little guy isn’t he? I think he will rust up and age very attractively and some day someone will find it in a box and wonder what the hell great grandpa was up to.

Now to find some scrap leather and make him a holster.

The honeymoon is over!

So most mornings I am In a terrible rush. A combination of my inability to be a morning person and my half asleep creative math usually insures I have 15 minutes to get ready and get out the door. This morning was a little worse as I had convinced myself that a five minute snooze meant I had an extra 15 minutes later…

So anyhow, I raced out of the door and jumped on Rocinante, ready to zoom out into the oncoming day. Something felt immediately very very wrong.

Upon investigation, I found this little beauty plunged to the hilt in the back tire.

I left it in (thank you for that important life lesson dad!) and pumped the tire up with enough air to almost get to the gas station… Which I arrived at after a mile of pushing Rocinante…

I used the gas stations compressor to pump the back tire full, which got me as far as the HellMart, where I bought an emergency puncture repair kit and a couple fix-a flats just in case… Also a cheap plain T-shirt as mine was now sopping with sweat.

A quick repair later I am at work only an hour late. Here is hoping that the temporary fix lasts two to four weeks until I can afford to get into the shop for a more permanent solution…

It is the year two thousand and fifteen… Have we not solved this problem already?

Forty Four

-The atomic number of ruthenium (which is very pretty)

-The code for international direct dial phone calls to the United Kingdom

-Julius Caesar was assassinated in 44BC

-Wu Han died in 44AD

-Gary Busey was born in 1944

Yesterday marked the forty fourth anniversary of my entry, in approximately this form, into what we perceive as this state of existence.

It is an arbitrary date to use. A theoretical shift forward on the scoreboard of life… But I suppose it will do.

The day itself was not terribly remarkable. I woke up in a borrowed house and had a pleasant morning. I took a relatively luxurious shower and had plenty of time to settle into the harsh reality I call “being awake.” I had to work and it was a later shift so there was no time for any particularly fun activities… But work passed quickly enough and afterwards I was treated to a lovely Thai dinner. Cake and presents happened the night before, so all told the rituals were pleasantly observed.

So this leaves me thinking about the significance of passing this particular milestone set to the side of linear time.

That nasty little voice hiding somewhere behind my eyes would love to endlessly recount all of my many failings and dissapointments. I am increasingly finding that voice to be incredibly dull however, so it can go cheerfully fuck itself raw for a bit. It is a lot more interesting to look at where I currently am, where I want to be, and what tools I have to deal with the obstacles in my way (both internal and external).

This was supposed to be the year of “getting some stuff done.” Instead it was the year of recovering from disaster and wallowing a little in the comforting embrace of depression who loves me and is always there when I need it… Depression is also very boring and can fuck itself raw.

So this year will be a year of getting a few things done and knocking down a lot of obstacles so that I can get even more done. It had an OK start and is sitting in a bit of a swamp, but I am thinking it’s going to be a pretty satisfying tick forward on the arbitrary scoreboard and quite a few ticks forward on some much more interesting scoreboards. 

My first scooter mod

One of the things that attracted me to the Honda Ruckus was the open frame construction. The big open area under the seat just screams potential to me.

The one problem of all this potential is that is just that. The area is great for holding a bag of laundry or a bag of cat litter… But with the wide open sides if you don’t stuff it full you rust having things just fly away as you ride.


so I did something about that.

I had this roll of plastic mesh at  Bloominglabs so I dug it out and cut some panels roughly the size I wanted them.


I also grabbed a bag of zip-ties and a pair of “titanium” EMT shears.


I have some issues with the wasteful nature of zip-ties, but they were there and I didn’t have anything better at the moment.

the front panel just needed to be trimmed a little and installed.


The back panel was a more challenging shape and I had to nibble away bits until it fit.



The sides were the same shape so I just made two and cut out a little area for the helmet lock.



With the ties trimmed I had my cargo area nicely closed off and Rocinante looks 15% more post-apocalyptic!


Done! Though as soon as I find them I will replace the zip-ties with Velcro straps so I can pull off the panels when I need to.